Part 1: Examples of Poor Headlines
Headline: Three Peas in a Pod
Problem: Doesn’t tell the reader what the article is about. Author has chosen a clever headline, rather that one that will help potential readers find the news.
Solution: Gubernatorial Candidates Whitman and Brown propose similar fixes as Schwarzenegger
Source: LA Times, September 21, 2010
Headline: ‘Does this look ready?’
Problem: The reader has no idea what the article will be about and therefore can’t use the headline to decide whether to read it or not. What looks ready? Do we want it to look ready? Or do we not? Is it ready?
Problem: The reader has no idea what the article will be about and therefore can’t use the headline to decide whether to read it or not. What looks ready? Do we want it to look ready? Or do we not? Is it ready?
Solution: India not prepared to host Commonwealth Games
Source: tribuneindia.com, September 22, 2010
Headline: DEA: Clean out your medicine cabinets Saturday
Problem: The headline doesn’t adequately summarize the content. The headline is confusing: why would the DEA, which usually enforces, suggest such a personal thing. A reader would probably expect that the article includes recommendations on how to clean your medicine cabinet. But why Saturday?
Solution: DEA launches 'Clean out your Medicine Cabinets' Campaign
Source: AP Press through Yahoo News, September 23, 2010
Part 2: Improve an Article by Deploying Lists
BEFORE
By Harriet Baskas, special for USA TODAY
With laws such as the Air Carrier Access Act and the Americans with Disabilities Act, you might assume that people with disabilities no longer encounter obstacles at U.S. airports.
Unfortunately, that's not true. "Frankly, there isn't enough policing going on to go look at all these airports to see if they're 100% compliant," notes Tim Joniec of the Houston Airport System. "So at some airports it may take a traveler complaining about a service that isn't there before attention is paid to a problem."
And even if a traveler does lodge a complaint, "you'd be surprised at how many airports, including some enormous ones, just don't care," says Eric Lipp, the executive director of the Open Doors Organization (ODO), a non-profit that works with businesses and the disability community.
For those that do care, next month the Open Doors Organization (ODO) and the International Air Transport Association (IATA) will host a conference about universal access in airports. On the agenda: tools, technology and training to help both airports and airlines do a better job of serving travelers with disabilities.
One topic sure to be discussed is money. About 55 million people in this country have some sort of disability. This community spends upwards of $14 billion a year on travel; more than $3 billion a year on airplane tickets alone.
With medical care and life expectancy improving, the number of travelers with disabilities is predicted to increase to more than 80 million in the next 20 years. Yet, when the Open Doors Organization surveyed adults with disabilities about travel, more than 80% reported encountering obstacles at airports and with airline personnel.
This group could include you in the future. The number of travelers who may encounter obstacles at airports is even larger, says ODO's Lipp, "If you consider the people who don't self-identify as having a disability." That might include aging boomers unwilling to admit they're having trouble seeing information on flight display boards or hearing the overhead announcements. And it can also include temporarily-disabled people, such a vacationer heading home from a ski trip with a broken leg.
"Revenues from this market could easily double," says Lipp, "If certain needs were met and more obstacles removed."
Universal access universally helpful
Lipp and others point out that removing obstacles at airports makes traveling easier for all passengers, not just those with disabilities. And there are plenty of examples of how making changes makes sense.
Curb cuts help those with strollers and wheeled luggage as much as they assist travelers using wheelchairs, walkers, canes or scooters. Family bathrooms are great for parents traveling with small children, but special lavatories at airports also offer grab bars and other amenities that a disabled traveler, or one traveling with an attendant, might find useful. Many general-use airport bathrooms are cleaner due to ADA-compliant self-flush toilets, automatic faucets and motion-sensing paper towel dispensers. And weave-through entryways reduce germs by eliminating the need for everyone to grab the door handle.
Visual-paging systems, like the high-tech ones now installed airport-wide at Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport, were originally created to assist hearing-impaired passengers. But all passengers can benefit from having an additional way to receive emergency messages and courtesy pages.
And of course, air passengers must be able to get to the gate before they can fly.
At George Bush Intercontinental Airport, passengers must now either walk or negotiate elevators, escalators or a bus when trying to reach Terminal A from Terminal B. That barrier will disappear in October when the airport's above-ground train finally links Terminal A to the other four terminals. "Those with mobility challenges will certainly benefit from this," says the airport's Tim Joniec, "But because 70% of our passengers make a connection at IAH, this will definitely be noticed by all travelers."
(article continues...)
AFTER
Travelers with disabilities face obstacles at airports
By Harriet Baskas, special for USA TODAY
By Harriet Baskas, special for USA TODAY
With laws such as the Air Carrier Access Act and the Americans with Disabilities Act, you might assume that people with disabilities no longer encounter obstacles at U.S. airports.
Joniec of the Houston Airport System. "So at some airports it may take a traveler complaining about a service that isn't there before attention is paid to a problem."
And even if a traveler does lodge a complaint, "you'd be surprised at how many airports, including some enormous ones, just don't care," says Eric Lipp, the executive director of the Open Doors Organization (ODO), a non-profit that works with businesses and the disability community.
For those that do care, next month the Open Doors Organization (ODO) and the International Air Transport Association (IATA) will host a conference about universal access in airports. On the agenda: tools, technology and training to help both airports and airlines do a better job of serving travelers with disabilities. One topic sure to be discussed is money.
In the background of the discussions will be striking statistics about universal access in airports:
- About 55 million people in this country have some sort of disability;
- People with disabilities spend upwards of $14 billion a year on travel; About 20% of the money spent ($3 billion a year) is on airplane tickets alone;
- The number of travelers with disabilities is predicted to increase to more than 80 million in the next 20 years as medical care and life expectancy improves;
- More than 80% of adults with disabilities report encountering obstacles at airports and with airline personnel (according to a survey conducted by the Open Doors Organization).
This group could include you in the future. The number of travelers who may encounter obstacles at airports is even larger, says ODO's Lipp, "If you consider the people who don't self-identify as having a disability." That might include aging boomers unwilling to admit they're having trouble seeing information on flight display boards or hearing the overhead announcements. And it can also include temporarily-disabled people, such a vacationer heading home from a ski trip with a broken leg.
"Revenues from this market could easily double," says Lipp, "If certain needs were met and more obstacles removed."
Universal access universally helpful
Lipp and others point out that removing obstacles at airports makes traveling easier for all passengers, not just those with disabilities. There are plenty of examples where this is true:
- Curb cuts also help those with strollers and wheeled luggage;
- Family and disabled bathrooms are great for parents traveling with small children;
- Many general-use airport bathrooms are cleaner due to ADA-compliant self-flush toilets, automatic faucets and motion-sensing paper towel dispensers;
- Weave-through entryways reduce germs by eliminating the need for everyone to grab the door handle;
- Visual-paging systems, originally created to assist hearing-impaired passengers, benefit all passengers by providing additional ways to receive emergency messages and courtesy pages;
- And better transportation systems inside the airport benefit all passengers who must be able to get to the gate before they can fly.
At George Bush Intercontinental Airport, passengers must now either walk or negotiate elevators, escalators or a bus when trying to reach Terminal A from Terminal B. That barrier will disappear in October when the airport's above-ground train finally links Terminal A to the other four terminals. "Those with mobility challenges will certainly benefit from this," says the airport's Tim Joniec, "But because 70% of our passengers make a connection at IAH, this will definitely be noticed by all travelers."
(article continues...)
Part 3: Week 1 Headline Rewritten
Civil War in El Salvador fuels love of country:
One Salvadoran girl's story of growing up in the 1980s
Part 4: Different Headlines for Story Fragment
Headline 1: 8 Words
China avenges criticism by blocking US meat imports
Headline 2: 6 Words
US-China dispute over imports continues
Headline 3: with Subhead
China suspends certain US imports: Shanghai responds to US criticism of tainted Chinese imports
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